What Does it Mean to be "Mean"?

How's that for an intro question?    It's something I have been pondering off and on for a few weeks now.    It seems you see stories about bullying in the news almost weekly.  But those stories mostly involve hormonally supercharged immature teenagers.   But I have found that bullying occurs throughout our lifetime......with one major difference.    As we age, the "meanness" is displayed with more subtlety in adults.

Our son experienced bullying in elementary school....at a lovely Christian school.   Surrounded by caring adults.   In what my husband and I thought was a caring, nurturing environment.   We ended up pulling him out of the school after he suffered from depression that we believe was caused by the bullying.    We should have pulled him out 2 years earlier but thought he  was going through a "phase" and that it would pass.   Ha.   As parents we definitely goofed on that call.  Lesson learned.

And then there are the people as adults who interact in our lives that are just plain ornery.  You know, like the sour faced lady at the grocery store who grumbles about every little thing....the price of food is too high, the cashier is too slow, it's too loud in the store, why are those children crying.....and on and on it goes as she vents her irritation to anyone close enough to listen.   At least she isn't being mean to the person unfortunate enough to be behind her in line at the register.   She's just a sad excuse for a human being.   And, I can ignore her.....nothing she says hurts me.

The folks that cause me to stop and reflect the most, though, are those we first meet and walk away thinking, "Huh, this may be a new friend for me.".   You get your hopes up and think of ways to spend time together to get to know one another better.   You let them into your personal space.   And then as you get to know him or her, you find yourself replaying their words to you over and over in your mind, wondering what exactly did they say that made you feel uncomfortable.....or hurt.....or "on guard".....or even angry.  

Yup.  I'm sure you have all had an experience like that at sometime in your life.   Unfortunately, I've run into someone lately that I had high hopes of becoming a close friend.    It seemed that our paths had crossed for a purpose and I was happy and excited to spend more time with her.   After all, we had so much in common.  Until.    Yeah, those danged words again.   Seemingly innocuous words.   Anyone else hearing them wouldn't give them a second thought.   But those words had a purpose.....they were intended to hurt.....however subtle, the intent is still there if you recognize it.  And a lifetime of experience has taught me how to recognize the intent.

Those words seemed to have the power to cut me deep inside.  And put me on guard.  And made me not want to be with her. There was a purposed "dig" in those words, meant to hurt...meant to elevate her and demean me.  Seriously?   Who needs that kind of garbage in their life?   What I think bothers me the most is that I let those words make me question my value, my worth, my abilities.   And yes, it hurt to have someone be so thoughtless.

So what does it "Mean to be Mean"?  It means always putting yourself before others.   It means using your words to purposely spew ugliness at someone else.  It means you might not have very many friends, because who would want to spend time with someone who isn't kind?  It means being thoughtless or rude or condescending or plain ole snotty.  How un-adult of them.   How un-Christian of them.  How self-serving of them.

I choose kindness.   I choose love.   I choose happiness.  I choose to be positive.  I choose to be hospitable to those who come to visit us.   We all have our weird foibles, those personality traits that try as we might, we will more than likely never change.    And if any of those foibles are hurtful, I hope that I, as well as you, will decide to limit those hurtful exchanges whenever possible.  Because you never know what someone else is going through.   We all have some kind of hardship in our lives.....so be kind to those you meet because the road they travel may well be much more difficult than the one you are on.

We still live (I hope) in a civil society.   And in a civil society there are socially acceptable norms and I believe courtesy and kindness are two attributes that always bear repeating with those whom we come into contact.   Manners count, but so does thoughtfulness, loyalty, and true friendship.

I hope this post gives you pause and makes you think about the power of your words.  Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.   Oh, yeah, and as for the person that I thought was going to be my friend?   All I can say is, no way, Jose`!!!!

Happy Farm Chick,
Debbie
 

Newest Arrivals: The Puppies

Yes, today we brought home the newest members of our farm.   We're pleased to introduce you to the sweetest puppies......Saber and Shadow.  Last weekend Joel and I helped to feed the animals at Craig and Kristi's farm while they were out of town.  It was an interesting experience, to say the least.

Let me see, I believe they have 5 horses, 2 jersey cows...or is it 3?   Two of the biggest hogs I have ever seen.....they are both the size of a VW bug.   They also have 11 alpaca, 1 mule, a turkey and dozens of chickens.   We also fed 1 inside dog and 3 outside dogs including the mama of our puppies.  Oh, and yes, there were 8 puppies, too!  Whew.   And I thought we had a lot of animals to feed.

While we were there, I spent a lot more time with the puppies as I wanted to make certain of our choice before bringing them home to our farm.   You know, you really can't begin to tell the personality of a puppy until it's a little older.    And maybe I jumped too quickly on the "white puppy" bandwagon a few weeks ago when I switched from the black puppy to the white one.

On websites that describe how to choose a puppy they warned over and over again not to pick the one that is too hyper, or the one that is too shy, etc.   Wouldn't you know it, as we observed the puppies over the weekend we noticed that the white one was a little more "active"  shall we say than the black one.   What we are looking for are puppies that can calm down and have a laid back disposition.   After working with the puppies over the weekend I/we changed our mind back to the black one.  And so, today we brought home the tan male puppy Joel is attached to and his sweet black and tan sister for me.

They were a little bit shy about coming out of the pet carrier once we got them home, but soon they were both eating and drinking from their new dog bowls and playing with one another....little tails wagging the whole time.    There's just nothing like adorable puppies, is there?    They give you unconditional love and puppy kisses, all the while their tails are thump thump thumping back and forth.

We've been down to play with them several times already today and now they are tucked in their new dog house on a cozy new dog bed.   Saber is the tan one and Shadow is the black one.  Yes, we have finally decided on names.

They seemed oblivious to the alpacas and our cow, but the alpacas and cow were most certainly watching the puppies from the edge of the fence.

 And the alpacas kept screeching their "alarm" sound whenever they looked over and saw those dastardly puppies frolicking around in the grass.   Heavens, no!    Even Buttercup stood at the fence staring at the newest creatures.   Pretty soon these little puppies will be big grown up guard dogs patrolling our property line and protecting all our animals from coyotes and intruders.

As I looked over into the barn I caught the cats lazily sizing up the puppies.   It seems the puppies have created quite a stir on the farm.   

One thing is for sure, they have already captured our hearts.

In Puppy Love,

Debbie

Surprise Visitors

Saturday afternoon Joel and I were puttering around in the house when someone knocked on our back door.  It was our "down the road" neighbors, Craig and Kristi....and they brought someone with them. Our soon-to-be-ours puppies!  It has been two weeks since we last saw them and boy have they ever grown.

Joel immediately picked up his buddy for some cuddling time.   His name is going to be Sabre.   Joel's been pretty quick to come up with some names for the new pups and he says Sabre fits the tan puppy he has claimed as his own.  Sabre seems to like cuddling against Joel's chest.   Let the bonding begin!

Our current dogs, Winston and Molly came out onto the porch to get acquainted for the first time.    Huh.   No big deal.   All four dogs were as relaxed as old shoes with one another.   Ok, that hurdle is behind us.    Even though these new dogs are going to be "outside" dogs, it's still important that the four dogs know one another so there will be no challenging each other.

After only a few minutes of sniffing their new environment these little guys hunkered down next to Craig's feet to rest.   Too.  Dang.   Cute.

I did, however, get in some puppy snuggling myself.   Who could resist their playfulness?   Their incredibly soft, fluffy coats?  Their sweet little puppy noises?   And, lest we forget.....these guys are going to grow up really fast into really big dogs.    I want them both to know me and be comfortable with me from the outset.....and I with them since I tend to be intimidated by big strong dogs.  Like I said before, let the training begin!

And then they were back to napping while we humans drank iced coffee and chatted.   It's only two more weeks until they come to live on Whispering Oaks.   Now it's time for Joel and I to prepare their new home.    I guess that's project #1 on the agenda for this week.

There's just one problem.   What am I going to name this cutie patootie?   I have no idea.    We have a list of names that we add onto and then cross names off of....and none of them seem to fit this little guy.  Joel always picks something fierce as he perceives these dogs to be our guardians one day.    And I seem to pick something a bit more romantic....not necessarily girly, but I would like a name that really describes this boy.

Hmmmm, this may be like naming the cats.   I had to watch them for a few weeks to see their personalities and then the names simply popped into my head.    Guess I had better do some creative thinking so this little guy knows his name sooner rather than later.

Naming contest, anyone?
Debbie

Am I Really a Gardener?

Huh.   You know, I have been planting things since I was a pre-teen.  I can remember riding my bike up Alpha Road to Albanese's Florist in the summertime and spending some of my $1.00/hour babysitting money to buy pansies to plant along the side of our sidewalk in the house I shared with my parents and two brothers.   Seeing the bright purple and yellow faces of the pansies made me smile every time I walked by them.  I think that's when the garden bug first bit me.

And then when I was a young wife and mother I had a small plot in our backyard with onions and tomatoes.   How groovy of me.  Hey, it was the early 70's.    Somewhere in my belongings is a picture of Jarrad as a 9 month old sitting upright on a blanket in front of the garden while I did some weeding.   Even in the years that I was a single mother without a permanent place to call home, I would pick up an inexpensive plant here and there.   Something about nurturing and watering a living plant has always been satisfying to me.

The last couple of homes Joel and I owned in Florida became constant experiments (much to Joel's consternation) plotting our landscape using edible foods instead of ornamentals.    After one particularly frosty winter when we lost our palm trees I replaced them with edible plants.  Our backyard was filled with blueberry bushes, a huge lichee nut tree, a fig tree and I had raised beds with all our vegetables growing in them.  

Now that we live on a for-real live farm I can plow up some dirt just about anywhere I please and plant whatever my heart desires.    The first spring we were here I went crazy and had a huge garden.....can't remember exactly how big it was now but it was somewhere in the ballpark of 52'X72'.    Yup, that's a lot of square footage to weed.   And let me tell you it was overwhelming.  

I planted 35 tomato plants, 3-22' rows of potatoes, and a wide row of corn.  There were carrots, red beets, cabbage, broccoli, leeks, onions, melons, cantaloupe, acorn squash, and pumpkins.   And don't forget the zucchini and cucumbers that overtook several rows.   But I couldn't keep up with the weeding.   And I probably only harvested 60% of what actually grew because I was so overwhelmed. So much of that first garden spoiled before I ever got around to harvesting it.   There was just too much to do that first year.

That all took place before we had our kitchen in place, so I was canning and freezing veggies with folding tables as a work surface.   Our kitchen cabinets arrived later on in October that year after the garden went dormant.   But I sure did "put up" a lot of food that summer even with the limitations we faced that year.    Then we got the alpacas and their pasture went in where the garden used to be.

So now I have the much smaller potager garden up closer to the house.    Initially I divided it into 3 equal sections.   Blueberry bushes on the left third along with an asparagus bed.   This third of the garden is pretty much on auto pilot.    The berry bushes get weeded every few weeks and I continue to amend their soil with coffee grounds that I bury around their roots.   The asparagus simply come up every spring without fail and all I have to do is cut off the luscious spears to serve up for dinner.

The middle section of the potager(pronounced po/tah/zha) is loaded with strawberries.   I kinda overplanted that section without realizing how much they would spread.   Anybody want some strawberry plants?   When I bought the skinny root bundles 3 years ago I had no idea that there were so many plants in each bundle.   And since I am not one to waste anything I planted each and every one of them.   Yup, all 110 of them.   Giggle......let me tell you, we have strawberries every spring!

The right third of the potager has all my herbs and the flowers I grow to dehydrate for teas that I drink all winter.   There is also a huge rhubarb plant and some flowers just for fun.   The far right hand side of the garden is flanked by thornless blackberry bushes that are producing a bumper crop this season.

Many of the plants in this garden are perennials....meaning they come back year after year with little or no care.    I like that.    Makes sense to me to let Mother Nature do some of the work.   For example, the asparagus come back each spring without fail, and the strawberries, blueberries and blackberries produce no matter what I do.   Even some of the herbs return to their appointed spot without any help from me, as does the rhubarb and a few volunteer flowers.

So, what's the big deal?  How hard is it to maintain this little plot?   I have one area in the "tea" garden that is becoming overrun with weeds and I have procrastinated on cleaning it up for weeks now.   You know why?   I hate the heat and humidity.   Yup, there I said it.   I don't mind the work, but I can't stand the heat.    Is it wrong of me to be dreaming of fall already?    Sigh......But seriously, what kind of gardener hates the heat???  Me!

Don't "real" gardeners love standing for hours out in the sun, baking their backs while they toil bent over the plants they have nurtured from little seedlings?   Don't "real" gardeners take pride in presenting a well manicured garden to anyone who happens to wander over to view it?  I like the part where the garden looks pristine, I'm just not so thrilled about the part where I have to do all the weeding to keep it that way.

And to think Joel and I placed 3 huge sheets of black plastic (we're killing the grass before planting this fall)  over another large area beside the potager in preparation for adding onto the garden.    I know!  How crazy is that if I don't want to weed what I already have to take care of?    But I love the plants.   I love harvesting our own food.   It thrills me to see a watermelon developing on the vine and to know that the broccoli I grew will stock our freezer.

 So I guess I'll just have to weed when I can and maybe not be such a perfectionist about the weedy part of my life.    Yup.   That sounds good to me.   Because I sure do love opening up a home canned jar of my tomatoes as I prepare our dinner on a cold winter January evening.  And the addition of three raised beds this year (like the one above) have made it a bit easier to work with the plants without having to do so much bending over....which is tough when you have a bulging disc as I do in my lower back.

I do love going out to the garden to pick our lettuce for our salad paired with our evening meal.  This year I have been experimenting with planting different lettuces every 2 weeks so we have a continuous supply of lettuce all summer long.   And we purposely placed one of the new raised beds closer to the maple tree so it gets afternoon shade which allows cool loving lettuce to thrive, even in the heat we've had lately.

Alright, maybe I am a gardener after all.   It's unthinkable for me to envision a time when I don't have dirt underneath my fingernails.    The thought of not having fresh produce every summer is almost impossible to bear.   And who could possibly resist those beautifully photographed seed catalogues?

I guess most days I can see myself as a gardener.....just please could we have some temps in the 70's again?

The Reluctant Weeder-in-Chief,
Debbie

Believe it or Not

I have debated for several days now about whether or not to share this with you.   Oh, I know, you chuckle when you read about our mishaps and long learning curve.    And you may even sometimes ponder the idea of making the trip here to play farmer for a few days alongside us.   I try my best to convey the nuances of our daily life......the sun rising above the mountain on a clear crisp fall day, the wonder of new baby chicks following their mama, the sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze as a summer storm approaches.

And while you more than likely can visualize what I share with you about our daily routines, I'm not kidding when I say some of you simply won't believe what I'm about to tell you.   Joel witnessed it himself and he told me that if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes he would have had a hard time believing me as I relayed what we saw.    So, exactly what the heck am I talking about here????

Well, here goes.  Three days ago I was standing at our back door looking out into the girl alpacas pasture that they share with Buttercup.   The alpacas had all wandered into the barn and were munching hay.    We have a gate at the edge of their stall that we can close when we need to capture the animals and give them shots.  Buttercup was standing just outside the barn on the concrete pad when I saw her nudge the 12' gate with her nose.    It swung a foot or so toward the barn as she tentatively walked closer to the gate.   Then she nudged it again.  

"Huh", I thought.  "Look at that", said Joel as he walked up behind me.   We stood and watched as Buttercup repeatedly pushed the gate, watched it swing ever closer to the barn and then she did it again and again.   Until finally she had pushed it shut.   Joel and I looked at each other and started to chuckle.   What a funny calf!   But it's what she did next that we can't stop talking about.

She turned around and immediately started to jump around like a 4 year old child let loose on a playground after a long winter stuck inside.  She jumped and jumped and spun around and then casually walked over to the hay feeder in the pasture for a snack.   We were dumbfounded.   We looked at each other and asked, "Did we really see that right?".   And, was she demonstrating how happy she was to have her new stall mates trapped?

We have been experimenting(aren't we always?) with keeping Buttercup with the girls in an effort to give her company....yes, farm animals are social beings too and do better if kept with other animals.  But the jury is still out on whether or not this has been a good idea.   The girls are taller than Buttercup and outnumber her 7-1.   And we can see she is sometimes intimidated by them and one of the girls will occasionally spit in her direction as a warning to "back off", especially when there is food involved.  

I'm not too happy about the way this is shaping up and we are working on another solution.   But solutions take time, effort and money.   Sigh.   Hey, it's just "another little project", right?   I think Buttercup had just about had enough of these bullies and penned them into the barn on purpose.  Her delight at having done so was pretty evident to us.   See, I told you that you may not believe me.   But watching her body language made it clear to us she would rather not have to deal with the alpacas up close and personal.

 Hmmm, is this my "good side"?

 Or does the camera like this side better?  giggle.....

 "Yeah, I got 'em cornered, Mom."   See what I mean about the gate being closed?   She did that all by herself!

 Even though the gate isn't latched, the alpacas don't challenge fences, so, they would never think of pushing against it.  And that means they just stand there and look out toward the pasture wondering when they will be released from their stall.   What funny creatures.

 Yes, Buttercup, you are adorable.   Look at those eyelashes, ladies.

Since this is a cow post, I need to tell you what else has been going on with the cows on the farm across from ours.    Four days ago the farmer removed some of the calves from their mamas.    It's done every year once the calves reach weaning age....which is anywhere from 3-5 months.   The result, though, is some very unhappy mama cows.   They will bellow and bellow while searching for their calves.    It's been kinda pitiful to watch and it tugs on Joel and my heartstrings to see these animals so distressed.

 For four days now these two black angus mamas have been pacing back and forth along their barbed wire fence, looking wistfully toward the pasture where Buttercup hangs out, and bellowing non-stop, morning, noon and night.    Yes, 24 hours a day.   Very loud moo-ing.    Loud moo-ing that echoes deep into our valley below.   Moo-ing until these poor creatures are almost hoarse today.

Every once in a while Buttercup will respond with her own polite little girl "moo" which is nothing even remotely close to the loud sounds coming from the angus moms.  And then the mamas begin their chanting all over again.  

So that's my post about cows.   And cow behavior.   And how smart we think our Buttercup is.   You know, like those folks who brag about how "gifted" their child is.   Giggle......oh, come on, we all know that every kid can't possibly be gifted!   Ok, you can decide for yourself if Buttercup knowingly nudged that gate closed to have a few moments of peace alone in the pasture.  

As for Joel and I, we're believers.
Deb

Details

The day of the quilt guild picnic here on the farm was a crazy busy day and while I thought I was taking the time to take a ton of pics, it turns out I missed a lot of shots that I now wish I had taken.   I have, however, come across a few photos that tie into that event and thought I'd show them to you now.

What we have here are the flower centerpieces from the tables.   After the party one of the girls had arranged them in a row on the table of our screened in porch and I liked the way it looked so much I shot this pic of them.    The flowers kept really well for over a week and added a festive touch to the porch.

This is a close up of the repurposed chalkboard sign from my shop in Florida.   It worked great hanging on the wall under the galvanized W.O.F. letters.   I can think of a ton of ways to use this sign in the future.   The sign is actually an old cupboard door from a vintage kitchen of a circa early 1900's house.   The outside wood has chippy paint and the black is simply chalkboard paint covering the center panel of the door.  It's one of my favorite farmhouse pieces.

Ugh!  Remember this ugliness?   This is the damaged wall and entry to the bathroom in the pavilion before we remodeled.   Well, I had shown you how bad this looks before but never gave you a peek at how wonderful it looks now with new trim, a repaired threshold and fresh paint.

Ta-da!  Quite a difference, wouldn't you say?   And now the door has a sweep attached to the bottom to help prevent little bugs from entering the bathroom and making a mess in our clean space.

In preparation for the picnic I had 4 signs made up at a local sign shop in town.   It was handy to simply drive my car to 3 strategic locations along the road and push the metal sign posts into the ground.   The ladies who came to the picnic said the signs really helped them know where to turn to get to our place way out in the country.

Our red adirondack chairs are usually on the concrete pad of the pavilion.   But there was no room for them the day of the picnic so instead we decided to place them around the farm.   Now that these two chairs are out by the potager garden overlooking the valley I think we may leave them there permanently.   The view of the valley is my favorite and I love looking into my garden, too.

We also placed one solitary adirondack chair way out beyond the girl's pasture on what I like to call "Sit Upon Rock".   The chair easily rests on a huge boulder with another beautiful view of the valley below.   And it's a favorite place for me to sit with my box of watercolors and a sketch pad.....puttering around with my paints.

As I walked outside a couple of weeks ago to walk the dogs, this is the view I had of the full moon rising above the mountain, framed by the big maple tree and the adirondack chairs.   Yup, what a great place to sit and enjoy the simple moments of life.

Life is good,
Debbie

Puppy Post

I wasn't going to post these pics.....mainly because the shots are much less than desirable.....translation:   they're not very flattering to either Joel or I.   But, hey, in the tradition of keeping it honest here on the farm, I'm gonna show them to you anyway.

 Yup, that's a puppy in Joel's arms.   A very cute puppy.   A "soon to be ours" puppy.   First let me tell you how acquiring a new puppy came about.   Joel has been reading (isn't that how we have learned to do almost everything here on the farm?) about livestock guardian dogs.   We have gone back and forth about whether or not we wanted to add more dogs to the list of animals we currently feed and need to keep updated with vaccinations, etc.   But since we have bred our alpacas twice this last month we are hoping to have baby cria next summer....and they will need guarding from the coyotes that troll our area.

Several months ago we met some new neighbors......neighbors who live about 4 miles away....but here in the country that's still considered a neighbor.   We've visited each other's farms back and forth and helped each other do some chores.    For example, I helped to shear their 11 alpacas several weeks ago.   And Craig drove his tractor here to dig a huge hole to bury one of our alpaca after she died....saving Joel from doing it by hand.

While I was there shearing with them, Craig happened to mention that Bella, their sweet Pyrenees dog was about due to have her first litter of puppies.   When I told Joel about that we decided this would be a great way for us to jump into the guard dogs we had been thinking about acquiring.   Bella is probably the most docile, sweetest dog I have ever encountered, so, we are hoping her pups will also have that trait.

 Wouldn't you know, the very day we were driving back home with Buttercup in our trailer we got a text message from Craig that Bella had just had her puppies an hour ago.   And she had 11 of them!   We went to see the puppies a few days later and picked out a black female and a grayish tan male.   Several weeks went by and late last Saturday I called Craig and Kristi on a whim to see if we could take another peek at the puppies.  That's when these photos were taken after Joel and I had put in a long hard day of outside work.

 Here we are, holding the puppies we had originally chosen.....after being smothered in puppy kisses. They are just the sweetest pups!   Aren't they cute, too?

Ok, there's a bit more to the story.    Originally Joel had picked out the puppies and I was okay with our choices.   But after seeing them last Saturday, I inquired about whether or not the all white ones had been spoken for by others who are getting a puppy.    Kristi showed me two males that were still unspoken for.    Because I have an affection for Bella, I think I am drawn to one of her look-alikes.

As soon as I held this little fella in my arms it was love at first sight.   He kept making eye contact with me and I was smitten.   And so, we will soon be bringing home a smokey tan colored little guy and his white brother.   Let the training begin.   Oh, you thought I was referring to the puppies.  Ha!   I was talking about the training of Joel and Debbie......yup, now we have to read about how to train puppies to be guardians of our critters.

Just call it "puppy love",
Debbie